Lost.
Journal Entry: Sun Oct 12, 2008, 5:24 PM
I'm trying to hold my tongue to avoid saying anything I will regret.
This is going to become more of a rant than anything else, but oh well.
I'm just tired in every sense of the word. Physically tired, emotionally drained, etc. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to put up with what I am dealing with at this point, but I'm trying as hard as I can to hold on. It hasn't even been a month since I saw Apo, and I miss them dearly. I know I won't be seeing them again for awhile.
High school is pretty much hell in general, aside from the laughs I've had with my friends. It's just brought on more drama than I ever expected, and I am now fighting a huge battle with myself in a sense. As of now, I am losing this emotional battle, and I don't know if I'll be able to pull through okay. It depends mainly on the next few weeks or the next month, even.
All the events that occur from this moment on will decide a lot of things. New relationships being fostered, hearts being broken, and the possibility of losing art, music, languages, and sports from my high school. I have a feeling that November isn't going to be a fantastic month; even though I will be turning 15.
I don't think that I've ever felt so lost, insecure, tired, and hurt in my life. I lost a dear friend of mine, and I have a feeling I am going to lose myself soon.
It's scary, really, but I'm trying to look ahead... I'm praying that I will be able to pull off this whole cross-country Apocalyptic adventure with some friends after I graduate...
But that is, after all, four years from now.
- Mood:
Insecure - Listening to: As It Fades ~ VNV Nation
- Drinking: Coca-Cola
Devious Comments
:'D You'll have so much fun. Ask Eicca if he ever got my letter if you could...
Nothing really. High school is eating up my life and I don't know if I'll be getting a 4.0. I probably will, but. Ehh.
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
And the Apo concert is in about two weeks, so you can imagine the preparations I have yet to make.
What's been going on with you?
--
William Faulkner: "The past is never dead; it's not even past."
"Time passed; worlds diverged. [. . .] and time turned friends to strangers."
Proud member of ~ApocalypticSanctuary and ~Eiccatoppinenitis.
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
William Faulkner: "The past is never dead; it's not even past."
"Time passed; worlds diverged. [. . .] and time turned friends to strangers."
Proud member of ~ApocalypticSanctuary and ~Eiccatoppinenitis.
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
William Faulkner: "The past is never dead; it's not even past."
"Time passed; worlds diverged. [. . .] and time turned friends to strangers."
Proud member of ~ApocalypticSanctuary and ~Eiccatoppinenitis.
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
William Faulkner: "The past is never dead; it's not even past."
"Time passed; worlds diverged. [. . .] and time turned friends to strangers."
Proud member of ~ApocalypticSanctuary and ~Eiccatoppinenitis.
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
~All to the Glory of God~
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
I have Eiccatoppinenitis!
~anushkacz Check out her Apo, Lordi, Rasmus pics/drawings.
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
"What's it like.. To be back?"
"You see things in life and you'd be surprised what you see.
Life.. Your whole life is changes.
You go through changes in your life.
One second, you got it made.
Next second you're down in the dumps.
And it goes back
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
Spread your wings and fly away!
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
~jamie
--
Close your eyes.... Pray to the moon and the stars...
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
Dein Leben besteht nicht aus den Momenten in denen du atmest, es sind die Momente die dir den Atem rauben...
--
William Faulkner: "The past is never dead; it's not even past."
"Time passed; worlds diverged. [. . .] and time turned friends to strangers."
Proud member of ~ApocalypticSanctuary and ~Eiccatoppinenitis.
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
--
William Faulkner: "The past is never dead; it's not even past."
"Time passed; worlds diverged. [. . .] and time turned friends to strangers."
Proud member of ~ApocalypticSanctuary and ~Eiccatoppinenitis.
--
"Dangflabbit, Richard Simmons!"
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